Recently, I’ve been doing a lot of reflecting, especially around my self-worth and how it ties into my everyday life—work, relationships, and even my mindset about money. After reading, listening to podcasts, and diving deep into self-improvement spaces, I’ve come to some realizations that I want to share. These insights aren’t just my own—they’re inspired by stories from people who have gone through their own struggles and come out stronger.
Here’s what I’ve learned from these amazing voices and how I’ve applied it to my own life:
1. It's Okay Not to Be Everyone’s Cup of Tea
I used to feel the need to be liked by everyone. The fear of rejection or criticism would weigh heavily on me. But then I came across a powerful idea that really shifted my perspective: “You’re not everyone’s cup of tea, and that’s okay, because everyone isn’t your cup of tea either.” This reminder was freeing. It helped me stop trying to please everyone and instead focus on being genuine, even if that meant not everyone would be on board.
2. Self-Compassion is Key
Another thing that resonated deeply with me was learning to treat myself with kindness. I read about someone who put a childhood photo of themselves as their phone wallpaper. The idea was to remind them to treat themselves with the same care and compassion they would offer to a child. This small act helped me practice more self-love and be gentle with myself when things didn’t go as planned.
3. Shadow Work and Forgiving Myself
One of the toughest things I’ve learned is to stop holding grudges—against others and myself. I read about “shadow work,” which is all about looking at the parts of yourself you don’t like and understanding them, rather than pushing them away. It’s an ongoing process, but by facing these parts head-on, I’ve started forgiving myself for mistakes and letting go of past traumas. This was a game-changer for my mental peace.
4. Confidence Isn’t a Switch – It’s an Ongoing Journey
Confidence isn’t something you just wake up with one day. It’s a process. I found comfort in someone’s advice to set realistic expectations about self-esteem and confidence. You’ll have setbacks—it’s normal. What’s important is the overall direction you’re moving in. Some days you’ll feel amazing, and other days not so much, but it’s about the long-term growth.
5. Visualizing the Person You Want to Be
One thing that has helped me shift my mindset is visualization. Instead of just using affirmations like “I am confident,” I learned to close my eyes and visualize myself living as the person I want to become. This has made a huge difference in how I approach each day. It feels more real when I can actually see myself in those scenarios, thriving.
6. Turn Off Notifications – Value Your Time
This one’s a game changer for me: turning off notifications, especially for social media. It sounds simple, but it’s a profound way to reclaim your time and mental space. I found it to be a great practice in valuing myself more. Now, I check my phone less often, and when I do, I’m more mindful of how I spend my time. It has increased my productivity and overall sense of self-worth.
7. Forgiveness is Powerful
One of the most impactful takeaways was how important it is to forgive, even if the other person doesn’t ask for it. Holding onto grudges just ties you down. I read about the importance of forgiving not just others, but also yourself, for past mistakes. This allows you to move on and creates a sense of closure that can really help you rebuild your self-esteem.
8. Celebrate Small Wins
One of the best pieces of advice I’ve come across is to make a list of every single thing I’ve achieved—big or small. I’ve started listing things like setting up Wi-Fi, fixing something at home, or finishing a task at work. It’s a reminder that I’m capable, and it’s given me more confidence to tackle bigger challenges.
9. Being My Own Best Friend
This one struck me deeply. I learned that I need to start treating myself the way I wish someone else would. Whether it’s giving myself a compliment, showing myself kindness, or simply taking myself out for some "me time," I’ve realized that the relationship I have with myself is the most important one.
10. Let Go of Unrealistic Expectations
I often felt weighed down by my own expectations—especially when I didn’t meet them. But one powerful lesson I picked up is that it’s okay to just show up. Doing something, even if it’s not perfect, is better than doing nothing at all. This simple mindset shift has lightened the burden I place on myself and allowed me to move forward with more ease.
As I reflect on these lessons, I realize how important it is to have a supportive community. That’s why I’m excited to share that I’ve opened up our Facebook group to everyone who’s on a similar journey of self-growth and empowerment. It’s completely free, and I usually post activities, tips, and encouragement to help us all on this path. I’d love for you to join us—it’s my way of giving back and showing gratitude for all the blessings in my life.
Join our Facebook group and let’s empower each other to be the best versions of ourselves. 💖